Saturday, March 29, 2014

Sunrise of the Soul

Sunrise of the soul! This is exactly what I feel is happening in my life right now! It's SUPER EXCITING and a bit scary too. Sometimes the butterflies are a-fluttering in excitement and sometimes they're raging a bit fearfully. I feel a bit like I've been living a foggy a manner of speaking....always searching, always unsure of some things...etc. I am quite sure I will continue to live that way and even dare to presume it's sometimes a part of the human condition - to live foggily. (I want to add here that I actually love fog! It can be beautiful!) On some fronts, I am finally feeling like I am seeing the fog clear and in a very joyful way! I FINALLY feel that all of the longings, yearnings, and old tuggings are starting to get stirred up and simmered on a grand stove. I can see that something tasty is being prepared. It's a good feeling because I've been hungry for it all my life! I feel like I'm able to feel God's presence more clearly in my life for the past four or five years and mostly the past three years and even more so the past sixteen months and six months! I have this wonderful life and most things seem exactly as they should be so I'm quite happy, loving, my jobs, and absolutely loving living in New Orleans! I get to sing for some fantastic people, I get to conduct choirs, judge festivals, travel, participate in fun diocesan events, and more. Why then, do I feel like fog is lifting? Why NOW? Well, for many years now, in Milledgeville at First Presbyterian and here at UNO and St. Paul's, the pull to being more involved in ministry has resurfaced. There's a whole spiritual autobiography I've written twice which I won't share here (right now), but suffice it it say that I feel strongly that the pathway is clearing and I am becoming more aware of how God is working in me, my work, and my life. I'm not sure what the outcome of it all will be, but I am trying to stay open to the possibilities and follow where God leads - and trying to have an open heart and mind. I've been in spiritual advising for about a year now and I LOVE IT! It's helped to sort some things out, to consider new ideas and directions, and help me begin a journey to mature into a more sacred life. The best news of the day - God's with me where I am and he's not done with me yet! :-) 

No comments: